From a young age, I鈥檝e found solace in the Pavlovian pleasure of the brassy 鈥�鈥� chime. While other kids were begging their parents to turn the dial to Top 40 pop radio, I preferred to hear two old brothers banter about auto maintenance on 鈥�.鈥� NPR has been an omnipresent voice in my ear, whispering tidbits of worldly happenings, accompanying me on my walks, drives, rows and rides. The centerpiece of NPR鈥檚 catalog is the witty weekly news quiz show 鈥�鈥澛�
Last week, I was listening to the sweet sounds of 鈥淲ait Wait鈥� when host Peter Sagal, seemingly jumping out of my phone and speaking directly to me, said the cast would venture from their home base in Chicago to record a show at the Benedum Center in downtown Pittsburgh. I studied up on all the headlines until I felt like a news know-it-all walking down Penn Avenue towards the theater.听
As I settled into my seat on Thursday night, I realized I had no idea what the cast looked like. They were always just little voices that live in my headphones and gab about Boeing and fiber supplements during my bus rides to Aldi. I don鈥檛 know how I expected Sagal to look 鈥� I could鈥檝e imagined him as some mousey bespectacled variant on the dad from 鈥�,鈥� but instead he more closely resembled from R.E.M. with a liberal arts degree.听
Hearing Bill Curtis speak sounded like God himself had taken an earthly vacation to Pittsburgh and stopped by the Benedum Center to host a quiz show. I can only compare the sensation of hearing Peter Sagal鈥檚 voice come out of Peter Sagal鈥檚 body to the uncanny feeling of seeing Tom Kenny do his SpongeBob voice in real life. Likewise, hearing Sagal drop an f-bomb in his opening monologue felt like hearing that SpongeBob voice narrate a reproductive anatomy chart.听
The audience was what you might call an 鈥淣PR crowd.鈥� These folks love a good charcuterie board and live for Shakespeare in the Park. They sip their coffee over the New York Times crossword on a Sunday morning after posting their Wordle on Facebook. Earlier that day, each one of them had told someone about an article they 鈥渞ead,鈥� although in reality, they just saw the headline on their phone. These were my people.
Before the recording began, Sagal addressed the audience to mark the show鈥檚 return to Pittsburgh and lament the change from Heinz Field to Ac 鈥� Acri 鈥� sorry, I鈥檓 so bitter that it pains me to even type the new name. I resent that our sports writers have to call it that A-word, like how news publications are gradually warming us up to calling Twitter 鈥淴.鈥�
Contestant Maeve Higgins said Pittsburgh reminded her of home in Ireland because everyone was pale and it was raining. And boy, did it rain 鈥� at one point in the show, a jarring flash flood warning alarm erupted from every iPhone in the audience. I figured that if the 71B washed away into the Monongahela on the ride back to Oakland, at least I heard the voice of Bill Curtis in person before I drowned.听
Only once the game began, with Sagal and Curtis standing at name-tagged podiums sitting a disco ball away from the three headphone-clad contestants, did I breathe in the absurdity of this show鈥檚 premise. A troupe of nerds and news junkies yap about Ozempic and cicadas while some consultant from Connecticut sits on the phone and tries to get a word in edgewise. I love it. I could鈥檝e been born a 12th-century feudal peasant shoveling pigswill until I died of the bubonic plague, but instead I鈥檓 lucky enough to live in the same time and place as 鈥淲ait Wait 鈥� Don鈥檛 Tell Me!鈥�
The special guest for the evening was legendary Steelers coach Bill Cowher. A Crafton native, Cowher riled up the niche of NPR Yinzers in the theater with stories about being trapped on the cruise and winning the Super Bowl. When Sagal confronted him on Heinz Field鈥檚 transition to Ac 鈥� nope, still can鈥檛 do it 鈥� he said in his mind, it was still .听
As contestants pored over the topics and trends of the week, I came to appreciate how much the producers polish each episode before it hits the air. There are so many line rereads, gaffes, awkward pauses and off-color quips that escape the final product. Contestant Mo Rocca even got up to use the bathroom mid-show, sneaking offstage with a Grinch-like gait before reestablishing his presence with a silent ballet routine. These weren鈥檛 just disembodied voices emanating from a podcast app 鈥� they鈥檙e real people who went to the from their hotel last night and can hear your phone ringing in the mezzanine.听
Perhaps the most potent auditory set piece of the show was the audience. When Sagal mispronounced 鈥淧rimanti,鈥� the crowd chastised him with an instantaneous nasal 鈥渁.鈥� Two men presented Sagal and Curtis with hand-drawn parchment portraits. The woman sitting in front of me stood up for an impromptu audition to take Sagal鈥檚 job, handing him her heartiest 鈥淭his is NPR.鈥� I feel like I鈥檝e left a little legacy in my laughter and applause, lost in the sea of sound splashing at the stage, immortalized over the airwaves.