In about five months, I鈥檒l be moving 4,000 miles away from home for four and a half months. I chose to study abroad in the beautiful city of Barcelona for obvious reasons, like its warm weather and pretty beaches, but the more forms I sign and plans I make, Pittsburgh鈥檚 cold weather, dirty rivers and ugly buildings are looking better and better.
When I began dreaming of studying abroad in high school, I imagined myself as independent and powerful. Now, I don鈥檛 know what I鈥檒l do without my mom in driving distance. Instead, she鈥檒l be an 8-hour and very expensive plane ride away.
As the semester draws to a close, I find myself starting conversations with my friends with, 鈥渘ext semester, we should 鈥︹�� before my voice trails off. Next semester, I will not be in Pittsburgh. There will not be a 鈥渨e,鈥� because it鈥檒l just be my friends without me. I dread the 鈥淔OMO鈥� I鈥檓 going to get as I wake up in the morning right as they鈥檙e arriving home from a night out, sending pictures and videos, as Barcelona is sadly 6 hours ahead. I worry that when I come back, my friends will have all new inside jokes. They鈥檒l make new friends and tell stories I鈥檝e never heard before.聽
The part that scares me most is that I鈥檓 going completely alone. The program I鈥檓 traveling with includes students from all around the world, not just Pitt. Initially, this was a positive aspect. I鈥檒l meet people from all over, I鈥檒l learn about different cultures and share my own and I鈥檒l leave the East Coast bubble that I currently live in. But, now, I realize that means it’s up to my introverted self to make friends, and I fear that I won鈥檛.
As these worries swarm through my head, I鈥檓 reminded of what I felt as I graduated high school. I was scared to leave home. I was afraid I wouldn鈥檛 make friends in college. This is what calms my nerves about moving abroad. Leaving for college was the best decision I鈥檝e ever made. Though I鈥檓 introverted, I made plenty of friends. My family and friends back home didn鈥檛 forget about me. My parents were far away, but they always answered the phone whenever I called. As scared as I am, I know it鈥檒l be OK, because if I did it once, I can do it again.
As I remind myself that these fears are natural, I look forward to the day I look back on this blog and feel silly. I鈥檓 going to meet amazing people, try delicious food and explore beautiful cities. My friends will sit in organic chemistry and human physiology, while my professors will teach me oceanography on a beach and the culture of food during a tour of a chocolate factory. I鈥檒l visit new countries every weekend and send pictures to my friends and family, this time making them jealous. I鈥檓 sure I鈥檒l wish they were there with me, but I鈥檒l be proud that I didn鈥檛 let my fear stop me from the independence I dreamed of back in high school.